Night Before Christmas Eve

Well tonight is the night before Christmas Eve and we have been busy making food for tomorrow. We will be celebrating out Christmas as a family tomorrow, becuase my oldest has to go to her Mother's home for Christmas this year. We decided not to make the normal turkey and ham, but a roast instead. My home smells of roast and sweet goodies. I am so excited about tomorrow, becuase it will be the first Christmas that Lena has been old enough to get excited about presents and Santa coming tomorrow night. She is very excited!!! She asked tonight could we go to the North Pole to feed the reindeer...it was too cute. I thank God for the blessings he has given me this past year and always.
Above are a few pictures we have taken this week. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! Don't lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas, which is Jesus's birth. Take time this Christmas to read Luke 2:1-7 and share with your family the reason we celebrate Christmas.
God Bless and Keep you through out the holiday season and the coming new year.

My Girls

Tonight I got to spend a few hours with just my two girls. It was the greatest gift Brian could have given me. Faith is in high school now and I am sure you all remember those days when your parent were just the people you asked money from or the people who provided food and shelter. I have been lucky because Faith and I have been very close for a long time now. Of course now we, meaning she, has a boyfriend and well that means mama takes a back burner. Well tonight she was grounded from the phone for not doing her dishes so therefore we had our time back, even if it was just for tonight. I can honestly say I have missed our girl talks and time together since she started high school and the boyfriend came along. I told her tonight she was grounded from the phone for at least one night a week from now on.....I will win my time back with authority....lol.
Then there is my precious bundle of joy Lena. She is emulating everything Faith does and says. She loves her sissy. Tonight if Faith was cleaning Lena was cleaning. If Sissy got a bath Lena was too. They were so precious. Lena is getting so big and I wish so much time would slow down. She is starting to move away from me some, which is good in some ways. Sometimes she will tell me, "No Mommy, Lena do it". I am so proud of her for doing things on her own, but part of me wants to grab her and hold on. There are moments when I rock her to sleep that I just sit there and hold her with the realization that in just a little while this will not be happening. In a blink of an eye she will be Faith's age and I am just not ready for that. Then again it will be nice to see my girls grown and living the life God has planned for them. Please pray for us cause we are trying to potty train this little one. She will go on the potty. but not all the time. However the little stinker can change her own pull up and will. Go figure! This should be an interesting challenge.....I will keep you posted on what I am sure will be a very interesting challenge.

Quick Thought

I just wanted to take a minute today to say how thankful I am for the reminder that this time of year is not just about presents and Santa, but it is a time to celebrate the birth of OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. When you are cuddled up and are all excited about the gifts and fun, take a minute to read Luke 2:1-7 with your family in honor and memory of all the Lord has done for us.

They Grow So Fast

I was looking and watching Lena all weekend and it a bitter sweet reward to watch her grow. I want to much to see her grow big and strong, but at the same time I want to keep her safely in my arms. She started last week telling me " I not a baby Mommy, I Lena". To which my response was that she would always be my baby no matter how big she got. She has also started asking to play in her room more. The other day she asked me for the first time could she eat in her room! I thought that did not start until she was bigger. She is growing too fast!!!!!!

This picture is one of my favorites when she was 3 weeks old. Wow how time goes by so quickly. I cannot believe she is already 2 years old. I thank God for this wonderful gift he has given me. She is a blessing and a gift like no other I have ever received or ever will again.

This week is a busy week. I ask all of my friends to please keep me in your prayers. I have to go Tuesday to the ENT to have a camera put into my left sinus to see how things look since my surgery last September. I am a little worried only because I have had some (little) pain and swelling. I pray God will just heal it all but I am in His hands regardless of the outcome.

After Tuesday the fun stuff starts. The youth have their Christmas party Wednesday night and then Faith has about 40 friends coming over Friday night. Please pray I make it through...lol!!! We will have a great time! Please keep those who will start their holiday travels this week in your prayers. I know a lot of colleges finish up this week as do Washington County schools. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

In and Out On Friday

I got up this morning wanting to go shopping, but did not want to go alone. No one could go today so I decided to take Lena and myself to lunch. For those of you who do not know I have had anxiety problems since my mom died and I do not like to go anywhere by myself or too far from home. I'm praying that God will deliver me from those anxieties. It just came to my full attention this past weekend that I had not completely let go and given it all to God, so now with God's help I am working on that area of my life. Anyhow, Lena was tired when we left so when we got to the restaurant she did not want to stay (she was not being bad, just wanted to go to bed). I was anxious and did not want to be there myself and it really bothered me because I felt so much better all week. When I got home I decided to read my friend Jenifer's devotional blog, By His Grace. "O" my goodness, I think God just told her what I needed this morning. On Friday's she does a devotional from Psalm and today is was Psalm 23:6a, NKJV, "“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;”. Reading that verse and the blog that followed hit me that no matter what I face in my life, and there will be trials and not so great times, that His goodness and mercy will follow. So, when I have days that I feel anxious, God is with me and his goodness will follow!!! Isn't it great to know that no matter what God always wins out in the end. PRAISE GOD!!!! God Bless you all!

Rainy Day 2 and My Girls

Today was one of those days that not much was done, but I just could not seem to slow down. Lena and I spent some of the morning curled up in the recliner cuddling. It is moments like this that I look back and think about my mom and how much I miss her. She would have loved to be in that same recline holding my baby girl just as she held me so many times many years ago. I will never know or understand why she is not here with me to comfort me when I need her and enjoy the happy moments God has blessed my family with. I take comfort in knowing that my mom is in heaven waiting on me and I will be with her again one day. Thank you Jesus!!!

I wanted to share the latest picture of my girls....their Christmas picture. The oldest is Faith. She is a freshman at Chipley High School and one of the smartest teenagers I know. The knowledge in that child's head is amazing. She is in 9th grade and taking a 11th grade math course. I can only imagine what she is meant for in this world and I cannot wait to see what God does with her beauty and brains!!! Faith is actually my stepdaughter, but she is mine to me. I love her just as I love Lena and I have been so blessed to have her in my life. She is my best friend and one of the lights of my life and I cannot imagine a day with out her in it to share the good and bad. She is a wonderful blessing!!!
The youngest is Lena. Lena came into our life 2 years ago on November 27th. She was named after my Mema (Lena Pearl Campbell). Mema was able to witness Lena being brought into this world and was able to spend almost a full year with h er before the Lord called her home. We are all blessed for the time that Lena had with her. I thank God he allowed my Mema to be a part of her early life. Lena takes after her big sissy in the smarts department. When she came into this world she was wide eyed and absorbing everything around her. She was not a typical sleep all the time baby. Trust me if God had not answered my prayers for her to sleep I do not think she ever would have. To this day she is like a sponge soaking up everything around her. She is like her Mema.....nosey!! lol I am so excited watching her grow. I so wish she would stay little longer, because time flies so fast, but I am so excited to see what Gos has planned for her. IT WILL BE AMAZING!!!! Lena is the light in my life that gives me that extra get up and go. Her smiles melt my heart and I can honestly say that there is no greater love other than our heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ than the love of a child. Thank you Lord for blessing me with 2 of the most beautiful and wonderful gifts, Faith and Lena.

Rainy Day

Well today is one of God's beautiful rainy days. On days like today it is nice to curl up with a good book under a blanket and just listen to the beautiful music the rain makes. I remember as a child I was scared of thunderstorms, but something happened within me the day my mom died. I remember that I had to go to Dothan the day she died and get some things she had requested at her funeral. It was a rainy day like today with thunder and lightning popping everywhere. I was at the traffic light in front of the mall and it seemed light 2 bolts of lightening clashed together right above me. I don't know what happened that day other than from that moment on I had a peace about thunderstorms and enjoy them......most of the time.

I am watching Lena stand at the window looking out at the rain. She turns to me and says "Mommy whats that nosin" (her word for noise). She questions everything lately. She absorbs all. I see now why God says that we are to come to him like little children. They want to soak up everything around them. They have to know everything. This is how I, we all, should be with our relationship with Christ. The need should be great and the desire for knowledge strong. O how wonderful the innocence of a child and the pureness about them.This picture was not taken today, but I thought it captured the pureness I was talking about.

One last thought today. I was reading my Bible this morning and felt the Lord telling me to read
Mathew 3:3 (NIV)
".......Prepare the way for the Lord make straight paths for him."

What does the Lord want you to do to prepare that path for him?

I asked Him that very question this morning and now I am just waiting for Him to show me what he wants me to be doing for Him.

Seeing Through Renewed Eyes

I feel like I cannot do anything else today until I share with you what God has been dealing with me about today, well all weekend. I have spent many days since my mother's death in 1996 wondering why and being upset, hurt, and even angry at times. Allowing these emotions to take over my life I have experienced anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and have closed my self off from people not wanting to get close for the fear of losing them or getting hurt. Other than my close family it is been hard to really let someone else in. In the past year I have been struggling with the loss of friendships and the closeness and comfort friends can bring to your life. This past weekend I have felt like God was trying to bring me home again in a relationship with Him that I lacked or only dabbled with for a while now. A dear friend of mine was online Sunday and she and I had a heart to heart about "Letting Go" and giving God control of everything. I have asked God to take control in the past, but have not let go. After crying and praying I began to read my Bible praying and searching for what God wanted me to do. It was funny because when I opened up my devotional book the title of the study in bold letters what "LET GO" I think God was trying to tell me something.
This morning I felt the Lord leading me to the book of James. I did not know how much I was going to read or if I was going to even understand what I was reading. I opened it up and began to read. When I got to verse 5 in Chapter 1 I started feeling God moving although since I was not use to listening I was not sure what he was saying so I kept reading. By the time I reached vers 8 I felt something telling me to stop and go back. I reread verses 5 - 6:

James 1:5-6 (NIV)
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he ask, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts I like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

After reading this over a few times and even looking at The Message Bible translation I realized that the unconditional love that I had lost when my mom died was right here all the time in Jesus Christ. I guess I felt unworthy or that He would be disappointed in me like I felt others had been in the past. I was trying to hide from Him I guess. Guess what?? YA CAN'T DO THAT!!! God also showed me that all the times I had asked him to take away something or tried to give him part of me I was not believing He was strong enough to handle it all. All I needed to to is believe...that simple. By believing in Him I am trusting him and living on the faith that he alone can handle everything in my life. I am sure there will be times I fall and He has to pick me up again, but today is a day that I praise Him and rejoice in the peace that he has given me and I will everyday through the good and the bad, because God is with me and will NEVER leave me.

Thank you Lord Jesus!! I praise you for the past, present, future and those who you have brought in and out of my life that have touched me in ways that only you could have known.

I also want to share that while all of this was happening I was reading a Christian fiction novel entitled "Every Now and Then", by Karen Kingsbury. This was the first time I had read anything by her and one of the few Christian based authors I have read. In the book the main character was dealing with his father's death and had pulled away from friends and family. It was strange to me how some of the emotions he was feeling I also had felt. If you enjoy reading this is a great book and has truly left me with a more open mind and stronger desire to follow the Lord and His plan for my life.